There are lots of ways in which you can both boost, and, maintain your child’s confidence without
‘mollycoddling’ them which can often make self esteem issues worse as opposed to better.

BELIEVE IN YOUR CHILD AND SHOW IT
Let them know they are a worthwhile and loveable individual.

GIVE PRAISE AND POSITIVE FEEDBACK
Your child measures their worth and achievements by what you think of them.
Reassuring your child that it’s ok to make mistakes and that its all part of growing up will encourage them.

CRITICISE BEHAVIOUR, NOT YOUR CHILD
It’s very easy to fall into this trap, but too much criticism tells your child they’re a bad person and are causing things to happen because of their stupidity or wickedness.
This is very damaging if it goes on for a long time. Be clear with them that its an action your angry about or behaviour you don’t like.

FOCUS ON STRENGTHS, NOT WEAKNESSES
Both yours and your child’s.

RESPECT YOUR CHILD’S INTERESTS, EVEN IF THEY MAY SEEM BORING TO YOU
Take a genuine interest in your child’s friends and what’s happening at school.

ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENCE
Encourage your child to take chances, and try new things.
Succeeding gives a huge boost to confidence, and sometimes your child will need to learn by their mistakes.

FOCUS ON YOUR CHILD’S SUCCESSES
Swimming, music, whatever they are succeeding at. It’s not only critical things said directly to your children that can undermine confidence. If your child overhears you tell someone that they’re ‘clumsy’ or ‘have two left feet’, for example, they may well think you really believe this and feel it can’t be changed.
This can be extremely damaging to a child’s motivation.

If you completely overreact to situations your child may worry that you really can’t handle life’s challenges.
This wont give your child an example of a positive, optimistic attitude to life and how to handle problems.
Think before you speak and choose your words with care – it’s very easy to say something without thinking, then wish you hadn’t. Too many negative remarks like this result in children believing they’re useless or stupid.

And finally, Say ‘sorry’ if you get it wrong. None of us are perfect, and we all say things sometimes that we simply said out of anger and regret immediately. It’s vital that this is acknowledged straight away.
Remember, confident, happy children grow up into confident and happy adults!

by Paul McDonald